Anger

What is anger? A strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused  by a wrong.

Why do we have anger? In order to know joy we unfortunately have to know anger. This is not.an excuse to experience it all the time. I have found in my own life that the more anger is used as a tool it becomes a habit.

A tool you ask? Well I have seen where some people will challenge an accusation or situation to defend themselves right of wrong. Another way is when there is a correction and the correctee pitches a fit or rages in anger because it will distract the corrector from their ultimate purpose. Anger is a tool, just like joy and happiness are a tool.

For instance, I have a beautiful almost 12-year-old daughter, who does not want to be corrected. She will throw a tantrum or lie. She will do anything to keep from hearing correction. She uses her anger tool as a distraction, so she won't be corrected on the offense whatever minor or major it could be. For her she would rather get in trouble for something else than the main thing. It is amazing to watch and so sad to go through. This has limited her growth in major areas such as emotional and spiritual development. It breaks my heart that she was not taught at a younger age the benefits of be corrected or its okay to make a mistake and fixing it.



I think the more people that react to anger or with anger are doing a disservice to themselves. I am guilty of this and I have been working on this for years too. This is why I recognize it. I am also going to talk about anger transference, at least this is what I call it. Anger transference according to Alicia is when someone gets angry and hits the wall or other objects. I have witnessed this and it is great when there is no pain like screaming into a pillow the frustrations of the day, but if we do this and then there is no talking about.it afterwards because we are "good", then we are wrong! We always need to talk things out. Anger is an addictive poison. Where does it go from here.

I remember when I was about my daughters age, I was angry at my sister for.something stupid. I was eating spaghetti in a green glass bowl. This bowl was beautiful! I was really angry. I hurled this bowl full of spaghetti across the room near my sister and it shattered against the wall and carpet into a million pieces. I was shocked at what I had done! I thought for a split second that it would be better to do that then hit my sister. Well yes it was better, but it didn't solve anything. I caused three issues to deal with instead of only dealing with the one, my sister. I had to clean up the extreme mess I just made, talk to my mom about the bowl, and deal with the anger concerning my sister. So, I talked about everything while I was cleaning and then I told my mom the events of the day. I got grounded and now I think I got off easy. The reason I bring this up is that if we don't talk about what's bothering us or fueling our anger before a flare up than chances are someone's getting hurt. We don't want that.

How can we react better without anger? Lets see what oils help with calming and coping? I have been using them for my anger and trying to help my daughter, being a adopted a few years ago was hurtful for her and because she is emotionally younger than her actual age do to the things she went through. Serenity, Elevation, ylang ylang, and my favorite Balance are my go to oils. Serenity more than the others, but for my daughter its elevation. We all need to find our special oil or blends of oil for issues on anger or other negative reactions. I also do breathing, deep. Breathing is your best friend. When breathing techniques are mixed with your favorite calming oil its wonderful and amazing to see the view.

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