Fertility...A quest dear to my heart

My husband, Darius and I have been married for 10 years and we were diagnosed almost immediately with fertility issues. This is a subject dear to my heart. This is a very personal topic and I will try my best to share with you my struggles and triumphs I have been through during this process. This is not something we take lightly and people, who do have this don't. Every month when Aunt Flo, the Red River, et cetera would come for a visit, my heart would break knowing there was no cutie coming in 9 months. Anyways fertility did not work and we went through AI (Artificial Insemination). After giving myself shots, asking people to pray, we decided to adopt. When this happened we made arrangements and filled out the paperwork. We were waiting when Darius was discovered to have a Primary Brain Tumor. That story can be found here...

I was thankful not to have children at this time. Darius needed me and I need him. We had family all around us and we were scared. I didn't leave the hospital for a month and most of his family didn't either. This was one of the hardest points in our lives we had to go through. Looking back I am grateful and saw how wise it was for us to have fertility issues.




I am thankful for the support of medical technology, because we were able to find out why we were not getting pregnant.

I am grateful for family, who didn't judge and never said "why aren't you getting pregnant?"

I am grateful I am open about this subject and have spoken with so many people on the subject.

I am grateful to see the Lord's hand in my life.

It has been almost 6 years since the brain tumor drama and we are happy, healthy, and looking towards a very pregnant future. I am no longer disappointed or saddened by my period. I am grateful my body has the ability to renew its self every month. What a blessing that is. I know it might be weird thought and feeling for people to understand this thought process when you are struggling with getting pregnant. I have been there and I still am going through it.

I think if you have been reading my posts you are well aware I believe in the power of I AM statements. I will share with you the one I have for this. It creates calmness, gratitude and love for my body as it is, what it can do, and my Heavenly Father's role.

"I am grateful for my body and its desired ability to perfectly heal and conceive healthy children."

I painted a picture and have this stenciled on it. I look at it daily. I read it. I feel it. I know it. I know one day in the near future this will happen and it will be joyful. I know these oils can help our bodies to heal. I know the food we eat (Raw Vegan) are all part of helping our body have the proper tools to heal. How amazing is it to know your body rejuvenates itself often? It is fabulous!

Be positive, desire it, and do all that you can to accomplish this goal. I love the message I got by text one day on this subject from a close and good friend. She said, "Just because your not pregnant doesn't meat you are not fertile and alive!" This is true! I know it. I feel more alive today in my fertility brain than I did 6 years or more years ago. We are fertile! We are receiving and seeing abundance around us. We will have children and the Lord knows the perfect time for that! How beautiful to look at it from a different perspective and feel joy!